If not now, when?

It's the kind of day I've been waiting for for a while now. It's cold outside and really windy - cloudy but just teasing a rainstorm. The kind of day that makes you want to stay inside all day and stare out the window in silence, taking in the atmosphere and thinking about all those pressing thoughts you've put in the back of your mind until such a day comes around and forces them to the front. Today is that day, and as I stare out my back window listening to "Don't Panic" while the wind blows the trees against the fence and those first tiny raindrops make ripples in the pool, I'm content.

But I've also been feeling really unsettled lately. Restless, wandering, eager, nostalgic, and homesick for something I'm not sure exists. I feel this pressure to know what I'm doing and where I'm going and I have zero idea. I'm only 22 years old and I don't know what I want to do or be for the rest of my life. And I don't want to have it all planned out for me yet. I want to have experiences and I've been freed from all things holding me back from having that, so isn't now the perfect time to start pursuing it? I want to travel and meet people and do things I've never done. I want to learn about the world and be inspired instead of naive.

It's important to me to start taking chances and allowing myself to try and fail instead of being afraid, have experiences that might make me really uncomfortable in the moment but that I will look back on in 20 years and be glad about. My eyes are wide open to the world and I have this need to grab it and embrace it and TRY. I've been avoiding doing this for so long while I held onto things that weren't even there, but now the entire world is literally at my fingertips, waiting for me to just take the plunge...