Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Hump Day Pep Talk.

"Your presence is a present to the world. You're unique. You're one of a kind. Your life can be what you want it to be. Take each day, one at a time."

It's just been one of those weeks for me. You know the kind. The kind where everything seems to be going against you and you don't know whether to laugh at how incredibly ridiculous it all is, or to cry at how incredibly frustrating it is. I've been somewhere in between laughing and hysteria for the last 3 days which has not helped the situation one bit. I think I hit rock bottom today when I gave a kid in one of my classes an "I'm going to kill you if you don't wipe that stupid smile off your face, you asshole" look, after he gave me a genuine smile. In my defense, he outspokenly made a rude comment about a project I had done earlier in the week which led to a humiliated Chelsea standing in front of her class taking a bunch of hits and trying really hard not to burst out in tears. He deserved that look (and it felt REALLY good). But nevertheless, as I was walking home from class with my headphones on it kind of hit me: I really need to turn this week around before I lose all composure and any dignity I have left.

What I realized on my walk is that I'm probably the only one who cares about everything that has caused me to feel like I have no dignity this week. I'm probably the only one who thought it was embarrassing to have to wear my glasses and no makeup all week because I have pink eye. I'm probably the only one who is still thinking about how legitimately humiliating my project turned out to be. I'm probably the only one who is dwelling on the fact that I got turned down from a job that I really wanted. And I'm probably the only one who can't let it go. Yeah, I'm having a bad week, but I'm sure I'm not the only one and I'm sure my week isn't the worst.

Come to think of it, aren't I acting a bit ridiculous knowing that I have a great support system and people who won't shoot me down when I'm gross and have a shitty project in school? I know I'm allowed to feel how I feel, but I'm not looking enough at all the things I've been so grateful for lately.

The good news is, there's still time to turn it around. It's only Wednesday which means I still have time to make the end of the week something to be proud of. I still have time to take a deep breath and tell myself that the world isn't ending just because my eye is infected and I have to throw away all my makeup. The world isn't ending because one of my classes isn't going as planned. And the world isn't ending because I broke my attempt at a crap-free diet and ate 14 pieces of chocolate yesterday. Tomorrow is a new day, and the sun will still rise.

I'm going to turn this week around right now. Everything that's happened is out of my control and at this point I'm the only one who can make an honest decision to look at the brighter side. What I want is for you all to know that when it hasn't been your day or week (or month, or even your yeeeear - sorry, I couldn't resist) that there's always the chance to make it better. My challenge for the next few days is to remind myself that I am better than this week and I will not be defeated by it.

[I love you all. Thank you for continually making me happy and grateful with your love and support in my life, and for not judging me when I fall off the wagon and feel like staying down for a minute to sulk.]

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Hey, don't ever apologize for making a 'Friends' reference. :)

Unknown said...

I thought it was pretty good :) glad you got it haha

Brendan H. said...

Aw Chelsea, I'm sorry that all that happened! I pray for you all the time and hope that you will be blessed to the max! I know you will! Hope to hear back from you soon