Moments of bliss.

I had a realization the other day that I'm like, really happy. I've been having all these little moments of bliss recently where I catch myself feeling overwhelmingly happy. I get giddy and my heart starts racing and I'm overcome with this genuine feeling of pure joy all around me. Sounds kinda cheesy. It's an awesome feeling for sure, but it's strange because a year ago I never actually thought I would ever be so blissfully happy about anything in my life. I never thought I would get to the point where I could say that I'm completely happy and actually mean it.

I honed into this on Sunday night when I was at the Mumford & Sons concert in San Bernardino with my lifelong best friend, Cory and my co-workers, Julie & TJ. It was the perfect day, seeing an artist I adore for the first time in person, and with people I love to death. Every song they played I thought to myself, "there's no way I could ever be happier than I am right now." And then they would play another song and I'd feel myself elevating to a new level. If I had to define what absolute, unwavering happiness looks like to me, it's that. I wish I could bottle that feeling.

I think I had just gotten so used to just floating through life without really being 100% content with much around me. (How terrible is that?) I didn't really realize it until I got to the point where I actually WAS happy. A year ago today, for example, I was pretty much faking happiness on every level. 

I first started experiencing these moments of bliss when I was interning a couple summers ago at UFC. It was so refreshing at the time because I wasn't excited or inspired by anything in my day to day life. That summer was like a whole new section that I had added into my world that showed me what it felt like to not feel flat. I wasn't just going through the motions - I was LIVING.

Then after my internship I continued searching for that feeling again, with no such luck for quite some time. When I started working at Digital Royalty last summer I felt it start coming back. The common denominators here? Vegas and work. But not just any work - both times I've had jobs that I absolutely adored. That's such a huge part of it. I don't ever want to be in a situation where I'm working at a dead end job, unhappy and just there because I have to be. I'm lucky that I've never had to do that.

I felt it again on Monday night - making that two big times in less than 24 hours - when they announced the lineup of the Life Is Beautiful Festival coming to my city (literally 2 blocks from my apartment) in October. I get to be a part of this brand new, inaugural festival in MY city, where some of my favorite artists of all time are going to be playing. When they announced the lineup I think I screamed louder and smiled bigger than I ever have in my entire life. And I haven't stopped smiling since. It's going to be life-changing.

The point of this is, I hope I never go back to being that static version of myself I was for so long. THIS is who I am. I started laughing at basically everything I do because I've stopped taking myself too seriously. I get to go to live shows every other week and have good friends and co-workers who I can be myself around and who really do want to spend time shooting the shit, listening to my ideas, and have respect for me as a person. I don't lose sleep over the past anymore. And I love my job, apartment, roommate, and city I'm living in. I will never take for granted how lucky I am to be young and in love with my life at this moment in time.