finally.

Well I couldnt write on here for a while because my last post was for ryan and i needed to wait until he checked it before i could update. and he did! so update.

I am still waiting to hear from CU. im getting more and more impatient as the days go on. i get nervous every time i check my online status, but then every time i check its the same thing. i never get anything in the mail, and i probably should call and see what the deal is but i dont want to bug them and give them any reason not to accept me. so what to do?? i mean, i gotta get things figured out soon. if i end up leaving i need to find a place to live and enroll in classes, both of which will be tricky at this stage in the game. and also, i need to tell my current roommates whats going on because they need to have set plans for next year too. if i end up staying on the other hand...well nothing will really need to be done, i will just need to find a way to cope.

right now i am renting twilight from itunes so i can watch it tonight. everytime i go to redbox its already been checked out and im getting impatient. so im renting it here and watching it alone tonight. im glad though, i need it. i need to spend some time alone doing things for me. i need to get back on track with the whole positivity thing too.

im still going to therapy. i love it. i really lucked out with my therapist. he totally gets me. he makes everything better. i wish i could keep him in my pocket at all times.

i miss home. i want to be with my family and my friends and be back in colorado. and not just for the summer. i want to be home long term. i dont know what ever possessed me to go to kansas, but im trying to undo it. its just taking forever and my patience level is always wearing thin.

blahh. i neeeeeeeed to figure things out.
*staying positive*

i might be switching blogs again. no one even reads this one. not that its for anyone but me, but i dont know if it really fits me yet. i dont even know how to read other people's. the only thing i know how to do is write one of my own. so im not sure this is the right one yet. still looking? maybe.