Welcome to your mid twenties.

As my sister so eloquently (and somewhat shockingly) put it "You're no longer in your early twenties." I initially thought "COOL!" but then after a moment thought, "Oh shit, the era of my early twenties is over." But, to be honest, I'm glad to see them go, because I'm ready for the next phase of my young adult life. What will the next few years bring before I'm in my late twenties? Only time will tell, but I'm excited and eager to find out.

So back to turning 24. I'm usually pretty low-key about my birthdays. Aside from when I turned 21 in the most epic of fashions, I'm not one to make a big deal out of my birthday. I'm content to just have a nice dinner with a few close friends and call it a day. Don't get me wrong, I definitely enjoy doing SOMETHING, I'm just not big on planning celebrations on behalf of myself. With that being said, my incredible roommate, Leah took it upon herself to see that this non-milestone of a birthday was more memorable than any I've had in years.

It started with a simple "Don't worry about it, I've got something in mind." So I let it be, thinking she was probably planning a dinner or something. But as it creeped closer and I still didn't know what our plans were, I started getting suspicious. It was Thursday afternoon and I still didn't know who, what, when, or where something - if anything - was happening.

So on Friday a couple of co-workers and dear friends of mine (Julie & Jess) told me they wanted to take me out for a happy hour drink after work. I happily agreed and left work a few minutes early to go home and freshen up. Well, if you know my friends or our group of co-workers at all, you'd probably know that nothing ever goes according to a timed plan. So happy hour is running a little late (not surprising), and we decide to just grab a drink at Julie & TJ's apartment instead (3 floors down from where Leah and I live). I'm cool with that - it's Friday, just beer me!

So we chatted for a while until Jess realized she needed to go move her car from her metered space. I offered to go with her, and when we stepped outside I noticed my god-sister Lindsey's car parked outside my apartment complex. I knew it was hers because she has a very distinct vanity plate, but of course she denied she was there and told me she was at home in her PJ's. Noooope. I knew right then something was up.

So a little while later Julie & Jess somehow convinced me that we needed to stop by my apartment for something, so we headed upstairs. I was a little anxious since I had a feeling something was going on, but I wasn't sure what. So we walk in the door and my roommate is standing there with a margarita in hand while a few other people (Lindsey included!) jumped out and yelled "Surprise!" It was a special moment, followed by the realization that our friend Justin (who happens to be an AMAZING chef) had cooked up a burrito bar in my apartment as well. My favorite food + my favorite people. What could be better? I was blown away at this point at the thoughtfulness of it all.

But it didn't stop there: Leah then explained to me that they had another surprise in store. They had come up with a game for the night - a golf-style pub crawl. Being the creative graphic designer that she is, she made up a card for everyone to wear around their necks that had 8 bars listed on it, and a few drinks at each bar - you would earn a score for whichever drink you drank (with the idea that you wanted to get the lowest score possible because golf, duh). Side note: before we took off on the pub-crawl, it started torrentially down pouring (with lightning), which we could only laugh about. So we ate burritos in the rain and right before we left I snapped this pic of the amazing sunset peeking through the clouds. It was magical.

So notice above at the bar "Don't Tell Mama" the hole-in-one says "Chelsea Sings." That's a piano bar in town that I've drunkenly sang at once or twice in front of a select few people. But this was on another level because there was a group of around 20 people that I knew in there (and tons more that I didn't know). But that was the name of the game and I couldn't NOT sing, right? So I got up on stage and gave Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time" my best shot. It's not karaoke, so it's just you and the guy on the piano - no lyrics, no background music, no distractions. It's intimidating! But I had an absolute blast.

We only ended up making it to 4 bars before we had to call it a night, but I was absolutely blown away with the creativity and thought that was put into making it a special night. I couldn't have asked for anything more. I literally have the BEST roommate anyone could ask for. She's a huge light in my life and she made me feel more special than I have in years. No one has ever done anything like that for me and I just can't thank her enough. She, and all my friends, really, made me feel like I was worth celebrating, and that's not something I'm necessarily accustomed to, so it was really very special. I can't accurately express how grateful I am.

The rest of the weekend was super low-key, and exactly what I needed. We had a hangover brunch at my apartment on Saturday morning (breakfast burritos made out of leftovers from the night before), went to the pool, and relaxed. Then on Sunday (my actual day of birth) a few of us went and had brunch at one of my favorite places in town, Baby Stacks (yes, I'm obsessed with having brunch). Later on I had cocktails and dinner with my parents which was an awesome way to end the weekend.

Overall, turning 24 turned out to be pretty epic. 23 was a GREAT year in Chelsea history, so I'm excited to see what the first year of my mid-twenties have in store for me. As long as I'm surrounded by this incredible group of people I currently have in my life, I know it's gonna be fabulous.

Moments of bliss.

I had a realization the other day that I'm like, really happy. I've been having all these little moments of bliss recently where I catch myself feeling overwhelmingly happy. I get giddy and my heart starts racing and I'm overcome with this genuine feeling of pure joy all around me. Sounds kinda cheesy. It's an awesome feeling for sure, but it's strange because a year ago I never actually thought I would ever be so blissfully happy about anything in my life. I never thought I would get to the point where I could say that I'm completely happy and actually mean it.

I honed into this on Sunday night when I was at the Mumford & Sons concert in San Bernardino with my lifelong best friend, Cory and my co-workers, Julie & TJ. It was the perfect day, seeing an artist I adore for the first time in person, and with people I love to death. Every song they played I thought to myself, "there's no way I could ever be happier than I am right now." And then they would play another song and I'd feel myself elevating to a new level. If I had to define what absolute, unwavering happiness looks like to me, it's that. I wish I could bottle that feeling.

I think I had just gotten so used to just floating through life without really being 100% content with much around me. (How terrible is that?) I didn't really realize it until I got to the point where I actually WAS happy. A year ago today, for example, I was pretty much faking happiness on every level. 

I first started experiencing these moments of bliss when I was interning a couple summers ago at UFC. It was so refreshing at the time because I wasn't excited or inspired by anything in my day to day life. That summer was like a whole new section that I had added into my world that showed me what it felt like to not feel flat. I wasn't just going through the motions - I was LIVING.

Then after my internship I continued searching for that feeling again, with no such luck for quite some time. When I started working at Digital Royalty last summer I felt it start coming back. The common denominators here? Vegas and work. But not just any work - both times I've had jobs that I absolutely adored. That's such a huge part of it. I don't ever want to be in a situation where I'm working at a dead end job, unhappy and just there because I have to be. I'm lucky that I've never had to do that.

I felt it again on Monday night - making that two big times in less than 24 hours - when they announced the lineup of the Life Is Beautiful Festival coming to my city (literally 2 blocks from my apartment) in October. I get to be a part of this brand new, inaugural festival in MY city, where some of my favorite artists of all time are going to be playing. When they announced the lineup I think I screamed louder and smiled bigger than I ever have in my entire life. And I haven't stopped smiling since. It's going to be life-changing.

The point of this is, I hope I never go back to being that static version of myself I was for so long. THIS is who I am. I started laughing at basically everything I do because I've stopped taking myself too seriously. I get to go to live shows every other week and have good friends and co-workers who I can be myself around and who really do want to spend time shooting the shit, listening to my ideas, and have respect for me as a person. I don't lose sleep over the past anymore. And I love my job, apartment, roommate, and city I'm living in. I will never take for granted how lucky I am to be young and in love with my life at this moment in time.

DC.

I've had the opportunity to go to Washington DC three times so far this year for work. The first two were for meetings that lasted only a couple hours before turning around and flying home, but the third was for something pretty cool that I got to be a part of.

Two of my co-workers (Alana & Erinn) and I went to DC this past week for DoubleTree by Hilton's "Socialite Camp." Pretty much two full days of social media training and brainstorming with the top "social media champions" among all 300+ DoubleTree properties. And for a social media nerd like me, it was a blast. I learned a lot and got to present my first in-person social media training for our client. It was actually a really big accomplishment and a step forward in my career. Pretty big moment.

Me, Alana, Erinn on our long trek home from DC.

But aside from the work aspect of it all, this time around I actually had some down time (late at night) to explore a bit of the city. The first two times I went to DC this year we're so short it was literally in and out in less than 24 hours. But being there for a couple days this time was a much different experience.

After the first 16-hour day we decided to cram in a little trip to the National Mall so I could see the Lincoln Memorial for the first time ever. Talk about an awe-inspiring moment. I was stunned. It really was one of those moments where you can't believe you're actually standing in front of this giant thing you've seen millions of pictures of for your entire life. It was so much bigger than I imagined and so much more triumphant. Standing at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the memorial and seeing Lincoln through the pillars was unreal. But getting up close? Almost emotional.

Not to mention when you turn around you're standing directly in front of the Reflecting Pool and Washington Monument. A little dark, but I'm adding to my bucket list: Watch the sun rise over the Washington Monument from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

We also made our cab driver drive us past the White House (because duh, Obama) but unfortunately it's pretty hard to see it from the road. Covered in trees and kinda far away. Still got a glimpse, but that's about it. We also made a quick drive-by of the Smithsonian & Capital - two SUPER cool buildings.

The following day of training wrapped early and we had some time to kill before leaving for the airport so we decided to soak up our last moments in DC and see as much more as we could (as tired as we were, it was worth it). So we wound up at the Arlington Cemetery where we got to see the infamous Tomb Of The Unknown Soldier & Kennedy Gravesite. Another super cool experience.

Of course, the time change REALLY screwed with me and I'm running on fumes at the moment (it's just past 9pm on a Friday night and I'm in bed already.. holler!) but it was totally worth it to have crammed in as much as possible. Lots of hard work, airport delays, and a trash bag full of barf next to my face later (oh yeah, did I mention as our plane landed in Vegas a lady almost puked on me?) I'm home. I'm inspired and ready to keep tackling the next phase. I feel quite lucky.

Sometimes I wish I lived in the city.

You know, like New York City or LA. Somewhere in the heart of the bustling crowds where everyone walks and everything is local (I think I've officially decided I'm a city girl).

But then I look up and I'm shocked to realize - I do live in what I just described. I'm living downtown in a big city where there's bustling crowds and everyone walks and everything is local. In fact, this is my current view, right this second as I write this:

But what's even more awesome about where I live is that it's constantly buzzing with new excitement. Everyday a new business opens or a new restaurant begins construction. This is a big deal for a city that's widely viewed as "depressed" and in dire need of revitalization. There's so many big things happening in downtown Las Vegas and it's fun to watch and be a part of. I get to experience it all as it's happening, living right in the heart of it. Like today, I went to the grand opening of another brand new restaurant in town. How cool will it be to look back in 20 years to see how this city has changed and grown, and how all the "new" restaurants have become local gems over time. I'll get to look back and say, "I was there when..."

Sometimes I think I take the little things like this for granted because I get wrapped up in personal issues or work stress or wondering if I'll ever date again. But it's pretty incredible when I finally take a minute to stop and take a look around me. I'm lucky to be where I am at this point in my life. I don't know how I managed to get here, but I'm grateful that I did.

Two Types of Waiting.

"There are two types of waiting. 

There is the waiting you do for something you know is coming, sooner or later - like waiting for the 6.28 train or the school bus, or the party where a certain handsome boy might be. 

And then there's the waiting for something you don't know is coming. You don't even know what it is exactly, but you're hoping for it. You're imagining it and living your life for it. 

That's the kind of waiting that makes a fist in your heart."

Reality Check: I'm alone.

I often read posts from old college friends who are so vulnerable with their writing. They put it all out there and wear their hearts on their sleeves, not giving a damn that the one person it's likely about is probably going to be reading it. It doesn't phase them because they genuinely don't care if that person sees it. I admire that so much. I wish I had that kind of vulnerable, don't-give-a-damn attitude about everything I say and do.

I find myself holding back with my writing because I have a few people on the list that I'm not very comfortable with knowing exactly how I feel. Maybe I like keeping a little mystery or maybe I'm just scared to lay it all out there. The back-end of my blog has probably 20 unpublished posts in the last month alone. 

Anyways, I guess I felt the urge to do a little bit of a heart to heart, inspired by a recent post I read by an old college friend. Here goes: A few nights ago I was referred to as "the single one" by a waitress while out to dinner with some friends who happen to be couples. While it was actually pretty funny when it happened, I've never been more aware of the lack of romance in my life until then.

And to be honest.. I'm starting to feel pretty lonely. That night it was brought to the forefront with the "single one" comment and hasn't left my head since. It's not a big deal. I'm not even saying I need or want someone. It's just a sad reality that ALL my friends are couples and I actually AM the lone "single one." They never make me feel like a 5th wheel by any means, but they all get to go home to someone at night. They have someone to spend time with on the weekends or miss when they're gone. And me? I don't have that. And sometimes it stings.

But what stings even more is that little voice in the back of my mind that keeps saying "get used to it, Chels, because it might not ever happen for you again." I hate that voice. And hey, I know I'm only 23 and that's way too young to be giving up on the idea of ever finding someone. Trust me, you don't have to tell me that. I get it. I know. But I can't help but evaluate my past relationships and mistakes and feel like I got the short end of the romantic stick. Why does everyone else get to move on and be happy and I get to stay alone and sad?

I've gone through a lot of changes in the past year and a half. I've taken risks I didn't even know I had in me. I'm a different person now than I was in any of my past relationships. I've learned a lot and made changes and I'm a much happier person in general. I've got a lot to look forward to in the coming months and I'm surrounded by a really healthy and exciting atmosphere with incredible people. For all the great things I have going on, I've been floating on cloud nine. Except for that voice that periodically reminds me that I'm still alone and have been for a long, long time.

Beginning of the end?

I wrote this a few feeks ago but never got around to publishing it. I didn't feel like the time was right to share it, but it feels right now. Here goes.

I'm sure if you've looked at my blog even once over the past 9 months you may have grasped the nightmare I've had to deal with involving my car accident, insurance companies, treatment, and now attorneys. It's been an absolute nightmare following me around every single day for the last 9 months as I have to relive the accident for each new doctor or lawyer or insurance rep I'm passed around to. Every day has felt like an uphill battle trying to recover from this experience and move on with my life.

So after numerous battles with insurance companies who relentlessly screwed me over for months on end, I finally came to my senses and stopped letting them run me around. I lawyered up and let my attorney take it from there while his number one goal has been to help me get past this and get better. And now that brings us to today.

To ease the worsening pain in my neck from the accident, I had facet joint injections yesterday morning. It's a procedure where they put me out and injected 5 needles into my neck with some special sauce to help me be able to do simple everyday things like:

• Turn my head to the right
• Carry a bag over my right shoulder
• Not get debilitating migraines every single day
• Not have my arm go numb halfway through the day

After a lot of thought and conversations with multiple doctors, friends, and family members, I decided to go through with this procedure even though I was incredibly scared. I woke up after a lousy night's sleep feeling anxious and on the verge of tears. I'm actually not gonna lie here, when they laid me face down on the surgery bed to start the procedure I was full on crying (luckily no one saw because my face was buried in a sheet).

But let me explain the reason behind this. Was I crying because I was scared? Yes, absolutely. But it was also because I'm beyond ready for this to be over. I so badly want to leave this #1 horrible experience from 2012 (and basically my entire life up to this point) in the past. I don't want to be in pain anymore. I want to finally be able to move on with my life without this giant black car-accident cloud floating over my head. I'm tired of reliving this incident over and over again because it takes me to a dark corner of my mind that I don't want to be in. So today as I was laying face first on the surgery bed (is that the technical term?) waiting for the anesthesia to kick in, I cried out of hope that this day would finally be the beginning of the end.

*Note: 2.5 weeks after this procedure and I can confidently say it feels like I'm starting my trek through the downward slope of this mountain. Fingers crossed.