Beginning of the end?

I wrote this a few feeks ago but never got around to publishing it. I didn't feel like the time was right to share it, but it feels right now. Here goes.

I'm sure if you've looked at my blog even once over the past 9 months you may have grasped the nightmare I've had to deal with involving my car accident, insurance companies, treatment, and now attorneys. It's been an absolute nightmare following me around every single day for the last 9 months as I have to relive the accident for each new doctor or lawyer or insurance rep I'm passed around to. Every day has felt like an uphill battle trying to recover from this experience and move on with my life.

So after numerous battles with insurance companies who relentlessly screwed me over for months on end, I finally came to my senses and stopped letting them run me around. I lawyered up and let my attorney take it from there while his number one goal has been to help me get past this and get better. And now that brings us to today.

To ease the worsening pain in my neck from the accident, I had facet joint injections yesterday morning. It's a procedure where they put me out and injected 5 needles into my neck with some special sauce to help me be able to do simple everyday things like:

• Turn my head to the right
• Carry a bag over my right shoulder
• Not get debilitating migraines every single day
• Not have my arm go numb halfway through the day

After a lot of thought and conversations with multiple doctors, friends, and family members, I decided to go through with this procedure even though I was incredibly scared. I woke up after a lousy night's sleep feeling anxious and on the verge of tears. I'm actually not gonna lie here, when they laid me face down on the surgery bed to start the procedure I was full on crying (luckily no one saw because my face was buried in a sheet).

But let me explain the reason behind this. Was I crying because I was scared? Yes, absolutely. But it was also because I'm beyond ready for this to be over. I so badly want to leave this #1 horrible experience from 2012 (and basically my entire life up to this point) in the past. I don't want to be in pain anymore. I want to finally be able to move on with my life without this giant black car-accident cloud floating over my head. I'm tired of reliving this incident over and over again because it takes me to a dark corner of my mind that I don't want to be in. So today as I was laying face first on the surgery bed (is that the technical term?) waiting for the anesthesia to kick in, I cried out of hope that this day would finally be the beginning of the end.

*Note: 2.5 weeks after this procedure and I can confidently say it feels like I'm starting my trek through the downward slope of this mountain. Fingers crossed.