contemplating 20...

I just realized that in exactly one month my life as a teenager will be over.
No longer existent.
Dunzo.

I remember when I turned 10, I cried because I would never be "single digits" ever again. It sounds silly now, but at the time turning 10 and starting the climb into pre-teen-hood was scary to me. I waited until my exact minute of birth that night, hoping to feel some significant change, but there was nothing. It was like every other day.

Now, 10 years later, I don't think I'll cry for never being a teenager again, but I will be sad. It's been a long run. You're supposed to learn a lot in your teens. Find out who you are, where you want to be, who you want in your life. I still feel like I'm learning it all.

I'm not at the point where I am ready to claim full responsibility for being an adult, but even moreso than when I turned 18, 20 feels like the end. The end of a very long era. But also, the beginning of another one. THIS should be the time in my life when I peak. Learn who I am, where I'm going, what I'm doing.

I guess maybe I AM ready to move on. Or at least I have to be. I'm not a child anymore, and I never will be again. Doesn't mean I wont have fun and be youthful, doesn't mean I'm becoming old, just means I'm moving on to a different era in my life.

Most of my friends (or people my age that I graduated High School with) are already 20. Some even turning 21 while I am still a teenager! I know I'm one of the youngest. I should really take this last month and have fun with it. After all, it's my last month living as a teenager.