I miss you.

I miss you. I miss so many things right now. Right here, in this moment, at 8:08pm, I'm counting the things I miss and feeling very much like someone I haven't seen in about two months.

I miss my apartment and the privacy of living alone. I miss being able to go home and have Chelsea time and listen to music or watch Sex and the City and feel content with bthat weird smell it gets when it's been baking all day. I miss my internet. I miss my tiny fridge and my plates and my cups and my stupid "kitchen" with no dishwasher.

I miss the flatirons. I miss them so much. I miss looking at them while I walk to class and feeling lucky to be in such a beautiful place. I miss that happiness. I'm happy here, but I miss THAT happy.

I miss my car. I wish she was here. I miss my old house that I'll never be in again.

I miss Brianna. I miss Brianna so much it hurts. It physically hurts me to be in a place far away from where she was. She's been on my mind so much lately. I wish she was here and happy and chasing her dreams. I wish I could go back to high school for one more day and see her walking down the halls.

And even though I didn't know Alex Wesley, I wish I could walk down the halls of Ponderosa and see him again too. Because I realize that I never really knew him or saw him, and oddly enough it never bothered me until now. Now that I don't have the option of ever running into him or knowing him, I miss the opportunities I used to have to meet the people I spent 4 years with and never even really saw.

It hasn't hit me in a long time how much I miss things. I've been so happy here and learning so much and having such amazing experiences, but a part of me still misses the things I have back home. Even when I go back knowing full well how lonely I'm going to be until December, I still miss it for some reason.

I miss my blog. I miss my coffee shops and my spots on campus and my Comm friends and doing homework and having a routine and having a house and feeling comfortable. I don't know where my heads at right now but right in this moment, I miss a lot and I feel very homesick.

Sometimes I'm so out of my comfort zone that I have to remind myself that this summer is about taking risks and learning and branching out. And that's what I'm doing every single day.