2013 in Best Memories.

Looking back on a year is always bittersweet. You realize what moments defined your year, good or bad, and you see how much you've changed. It's interesting how these moments in time make up the years, and all the years make up a lifetime of memories. That's why I like looking back on the best moments of this small moment in time. I'm building my lifetime of memories with each passing year. So without further ado, here are my top 10 best moments from 2013 that I'm saving into my memory vault and taking with me forever.

10. Jack White

My roommate Leah was dying to get a cat when we moved in together. It had only been like, 2 months so I was a little reluctant for fear that if being roommates somehow didn't work out this might complicate things. But as soon as we went to meet the little guy I knew he was ours (technically he's Leah's but not-so-technically he's ours). He's been a complete joy in our lives - so well behaved and the cuddliest thing you've ever met. He's also huge, but that just kinda makes me love him more. Wanna know why we named him Jack White? He's got a little random white stripe on his back. Get it? My idea.

9. Anderson Silva get's KO'd

Yes, this was absolutely one of my favorite moments from 2013 because I got to see it live. It was totally historical. Anderson Silva, the Middleweight champion of the UFC with the longest title defense streak in history, gets knocked out by Chris Weidman. But not only that, he was acting cocky and taunting Weidman throughout the whole fight until it came back to bite him in the ass. It was historic. So much adrenaline was pumping through my veins that night. And although their recent rematch sadly ended in Silva breaking his leg in a serious injury and not at all in the way anyone would have liked to see it go, I'll always remember their first fight and how exciting it was to be there in person.

8. iHeart Radio

My mom passed up the opportunity to go with my dad to the iHeart Radio Music Festival (who does that?!) so he took me as his date for the first night, and it was incredible. I got to see so many big names and some of my favorite artists of all time in one sitting. Fun, Muse (for the second time this year), Keith Urban, Elton John (for the second time), Katy Perry, Queen featuring Adam Lambert.. just to name a few. It was epic. One of the greatest and most fun nights of the entire year. So hoping I get to go again next year.

7. Seattle

This year, my annual trip to Seattle was for Connor's big 21st birthday which I had been looking forward to for many moons. But it was made extra special because one of my lifelong best friends, Katie was spending the summer in Washington and was able to join us for the festivities. I haven't seen her in way too long, so it was just the perfect storm to catch up with her and partake in our usual shenanigans. Oh, Katie. You were most definitely a highlight of my year.

6. Surprise 24th birthday party

For my 24th birthday, Leah threw me my first-ever surprise shindig at our place with our good friend (and AMAZING chef) Justin who made gourmet burritos for everyone (my favorite food) before we headed downtown for a golf-style pub crawl. I even got up and sang at a piano bar. It was just one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done for me, and I'm still sentimental about it 6 months later.

5. Moving in with Leah

The stars really aligned for me and Leah this year. We found the perfect apartment in the perfect location, and the timing could not have been better. So far it's been the best roommate experience either of us have ever had, and I feel so lucky. I love our place, our cat, our first Christmas tree, our balcony overlooking Downtown Las Vegas, and especially our friendship. Moving in together was definitely the best decision we could have made for our budding lives out here in Sin City.

4. Meeting Annie

My cousin Sara and her husband Drew had a baby in August! It's the first baby to come into our family since Sara's brother Chad, 14 years ago, so it was a pretty big deal. Unfortunately they live in New York City, so we didn't get to meet the little nugget right away, which we were all aching for. Lucky for me, I had the opportunity to fly to NYC for a weekend on my way to DC for a business trip. It worked out perfectly and I got to spend some quality time with my niece-cousin in her second month of life. It was so special. I can't wait to watch this beautiful baby grow up.

3. Mumford & Sons

This show was a MUST for me in 2013. Unfortunately/not-so-unfortunately their closest tour stop to me was in San Bernardino, CA so as a double whammy, I got to drive to LA and stay with Cory for a couple days before she joined me at the show. When they first announced their tour, I had to sign up to even be invited to purchase tickets. So when I got the email that I was invited, I think I probably peed myself? It was one of those shows that tops the list of the most life-changing shows I've ever seen, made even better with my best friend by my side.

2. Life is Beautiful

Speaking of best shows ever...I went to my first music festival in 2013, Life Is Beautiful. Can you imagine seeing Janelle Monae, Childish Gambino, Capital Cities, Pretty Lights, Dawes, Imagine Dragons, The Killers, and Empire of the Sun right in your back yard? Because I did, and it was literally one of the best weekends of my entire life. I'm still struggling to put into words just how epic this festival was, and I'm counting down the seconds until LIB 2014. It's me and Cory's new annual tradition.

1. Ireland

In 2013, I went to Ireland. I finally made it out of the US and took a trip overseas. It was an enormous milestone for me both personally and professionally. Not only did I get to take my first trip abroad, I got to represent my company internationally which is a pretty big deal. This trip really sparked my budding passion for travel, and gave me the itch to see more of the world. I loved every moment spent on the Emerald Isle, and I'm making it my mission to get back to Dublin one day.

Overall, 2013 was a solid year. Music, travel, new family members, and friendship. That's what life is all about my friends, and life is beautiful.

Life Is Beautiful: The Prequel

I've been putting off these posts for nearly a week now because I just felt like I didn't have the emotional capacity to sit down and pour my heart out about last weekend's Life Is Beautiful Festival. Not that I haven't WANTED to, I just haven't been able to face the fact that it's really over. It came and went in the blink of an eye, leaving me with just a beautiful bubble in my brain filled with incredible music, food, art, learning, and most of all, love.

The past year of my life has been leading up to this moment. When I first heard about the festival at the Downtown low-down last year, I wasn't sure how excited to let myself get because so often in this start-up land I'm living in, dreams don't always come to fruition. Sometimes you work so hard at something and it just doesn't pan out. It's a sad truth we see on a daily basis as companies come and go, striving with their whole being to make their million dollar idea work. I thought Life Is Beautiful sounded like a brilliant idea with so much heart and passion behind it, but I was skeptical - mostly for my own heart because the thought of this festival seemed too good to possibly be true. But one day, things started happening. Digital Royalty started working with them. It started creeping closer. I got more and more excited on a daily basis hearing rumors of what was possibly to come. Then they threw a party and announced their music line-up and I was at the absolute peak of my 20-something happiness because some of my favorite artists in all the land were set to appear in my own back yard at this first-year festival.

My favorite moment from the line-up reveal party was that my roommate, Leah already knew one of my favorite bands, Empire of the Sun, was going to be at the festival weeks before it was announced. She somehow kept it a complete secret from me, and watched my face as they were announced during the line-up reveal. We were both so god damn happy. I don't know if anyone in the world was happier than we were at that moment in time. I knew right then and there that LIB was going to change my life forever, and the countdown to festival-time began.

So I begged my best friend, Cory, to come out for the festival, knowing that because our hearts have beat to the same rhythm for nearly 20 years, this was something that would definitely change her life, too. I couldn't let her miss it. So I begged and brought it up in conversation every chance I got until one day the stars lined up so perfectly in our favor and we got the green light. She bought a plane ticket and I bought her a festival ticket and we screamed like the little 6 year olds we were when we met. This vision of the festival was becoming a real-life, breathing entity in our worlds. Not to sound too overly cheesy, but it was a lot like the feeling you get when you start falling in love - something I haven't felt in a long time.

As it crept closer, all I could think about was the fact that I knew something big was about to rock my world. And I was ready for it. Cory arrived late Thursday night and we anxiously spent her first night in Vegas catching up on all our "emergency updates" - the good things and the not-so-good things. Regardless, it felt like Christmas Eve as we went to sleep. I was so anxious to wake up the next morning and show her around my town that was in the process of its incredible transformation into LIB-Land. The miraculous murals being painted on the sides of buildings, tents, lights, and stages going up around every corner. The city I live in was like I've never seen it before. We walked around taking pictures and making ourselves crazy with excitement for the following day when the festivities would finally commence, and to top it off, our excited pre-mature strolling of the festival footprint landed us on the front page of the Las Vegas Review Journal. Beat that.

We opted to spend Friday night in, knowing that Saturday and Sunday were slated to be jam-packed with as much food, booze, and running around that our bodies could muster. So we had a real slumber party, including cookie baking, Footloose-viewing, and dancing around the kitchen to all the songs we were going to hear the following day. We attempted to do "handstand twerking" (not recommended) and ended up sprawled out on the floor laughing, like we do. Guys, you'll never understand how much I love my best friend.

As emotions start to fill my brain, realizing that I'm about to take a deep dive into the greatest weekend of my young adult life, I know it's time to break for the night. I'll have to relive this in waves, so I can do it the proper justice it deserves. Stay tuned!

The Emerald Isle.

I'm just getting back to my routine after a travel coma, which consisted of 8 jet-lagged days in Ireland, 14 hours of travel back to the states, 13 hours of sleep, multiple loads of laundry, and now laryngitis. It felt wonderful to get back to the US, but I'm already missing the Emerald Isle.

Our first big pit-stop: Kylemore Abbey Castle

My journey to Ireland was for a business trip, which was already going to be a huge opportunity for me both personally and professionally. First of all, I've never traveled outside of the US (except to Puerto Rico, if you count that, which I don't) so that in itself was thrilling. Second, the opportunity to represent my company is always an honor, and I was especially excited to have the opportunity to represent Digital Royalty in another country, while also broadening my own personal knowledge of the world. I've always felt so naive having never been outside of the US. There's a whole world out there with billions of people to meet, and it was refreshing to get a small glimpse of what lies beyond. I met people from Croatia, Zagreb, Amsterdam, UAE, Istanbul, England, and of course, Ireland. After meeting so many wonderful and unique people, I officially have the itch to travel all over the world, and hopefully one day visit these new friends.

So like I said, the trip was for business, but my colleague and travel partner, Erinn, suggested we tack on a couple extra days at the front end for personal time. I definitely couldn't argue with that, so I let her take the lead and she ran with it. She put on her travel agent hat and planned everything down to a T. After flying all day and night on Friday, we landed in Dublin early Saturday morning and immediately hopped on a bus across the country to Galway. We checked into our hotel and instantly passed out for a long nap. Unfortunately by the time we woke up for dinner, almost every restaurant in town was closed, but we eventually found something, ate, and then went right back to sleep.

The next morning when we finally woke up, we rented a car so we could do a bit of exploring. Let me tell you how terrifying driving in Ireland was. Luckily Erinn drove the whole time, while I white knuckled my seatbelt and door handle - not because of her driving, but because the roads in Ireland are ALL two way roads, one lane on each side, there's absolutely no shoulder, and the lanes are extremely narrow. Top that off with the fact that we were driving on the opposite side of the road and you could color us terrified (mostly me). But even though my pre-existing car anxiety was taken to new heights, it was totally worth it because we got to see a ton of the country which we wouldn't have been able to do otherwise.

So we drove to a little town called Clifden - population: less than 1,000. It was a cute little down where we met a few locals and had a few drinks in one of the pubs. It was just how you would picture it - young people playing musical jigs on their accordions, and taking turns breaking out in Irish dancing. Seriously guys, it was exactly what I pictured Ireland to be like.

After a night in Clifden, we made another terrifying and treacherous drive to see the Cliffs of Moher. The drive from Clifden to the Cliffs was about 2.5 hours, up a winding road to pretty much the tip top of Ireland. I can't even begin to express how car sick I was at this point, but dear god it was worth it. You might recall this scene from the Princess Bride, or this scene from Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. That's where I was, and it was one of the most insanely beautiful things I've ever seen in my entire life. I can't get over it. I'm still in awe that this exists in the world, and that I got the chance to see it with my own two eyes.

After the Cliffs, we drove back to Galway and stayed just outside of town in a place called Barna. We checked into a lovely hotel, and after a full day of driving and car sickness, we were excited to finally get a full nights sleep, and maybe, just maybe this would be the night we finally got enough sleep to kick the jet lag and officially be on Ireland's watch. That is, until we noticed a gigantic spider on the window curtains. By gigantic, I mean bigger than the size of my fist. So of course, we panicked and called someone at the front desk to come kill it (seriously, what would YOU have done?!), but by the time they arrived in our room (with only a tissue in hand) the spider had mysteriously disappeared into the curtains. And then we never found him again. Needless to say, neither of us slept a wink that night.

The next day, we returned our rental car and made our way to the train station where we hitched a ride back to Dublin. Both deliriously tired, we attempted to work on the train which was kind of a fail. When we got to Dublin, we checked into our beautiful hotel, The Morrison, freshened up, and made our way to the Guinness Factory. It was definitely a highlight of the trip, and the tour was pretty incredible. Not only do they teach you how Guinness is made and the history behind the beer, they also teach you how to pour the perfect pint and drink it properly (yes, there is a wrong way to drink beer). The tour ends at the very top of the factory in their circular bar that overlooks all 360 degrees of the city. And the beer tasted heavenly.

At this point, playtime was pretty much over and we started cracking down on work. We hosted our third live Google Hangout for DoubleTree by Hilton, and met all of the Socialites who flew in for our camp at a lovely dinner reception. The rest of the trip went swimmingly with 2 days of training and a special tour of the Jameson Distillery for all of the Socialites, where we got to do a whiskey tasting. All bias aside, Jameson just might be the one to get me to start drinking whiskey again.

From the left: Scotch, Jameson, Jack Daniels. Triple Distilled FTW.

We also had dinner at Ireland's oldest pub, The Brazen Head, established in 1198. I personally am most impressed with the fact that 800+ years after opening their doors, they've embraced Twitter. On our last night, I helped host my first ever Tweet-up event, another exciting professional milestone.

It rained the entire time we were in Ireland, and all the locals kept apologizing for the nasty weather, but it couldn't have been more perfect to me. Coming from the desert where it hardly ever rains, I was in heaven and enjoying the dreary, wet days. It made the city just that much more charming.

The flight home was long, freezing, and all around miserable, but I did make the most of it by watching the Breaking Bad finale which I missed while overseas, and 2 other movies in between shivering and failing to take anything that even closely resembled a nap (note to self: sedation!). However, I would take a 16 hour day of traveling to be able to experience another country any day. I'm so grateful to have had this opportunity, and it's one I will take with me and cherish for life.

Scenes from South Dakota.

A couple weeks ago, the Digital Royalty team took a 5 day retreat to our boss Amy's cabin in the Black Hills of South Dakota. It was nice to get out of Las Vegas for a while and get into nature - even though it's been reaffirmed that I can't handle bugs of any kind, and I'm very clearly a city person who requires a working toilet in her life. We ate, drank, and bonded over things we weren't expecting to bond over (should I mention the toilet situation here again or can you just use your imagination?), and most importantly, came back alive, hungover, and exhausted. Overall, a great trip.

A few of my favorite highlights:

Commemorating our first plane ride together with a round of Bloody Mary's.

Plane ride shenanigans.

Amazing rain & hail storms.

Our day on Lake Pactola.

Roomie love on the lake.

Enjoying Mount Rushmore.

The most amazing sunsets.

Baby G.

This morning at 2:29am, my cousin Sara and her husband Drew welcomed a sweet little baby girl into the world, Anne Kelly Gehling (or as I will call her for the rest of her life, Baby G). I haven't even met her yet and I already love her with my whole heart.

This is the first baby of our generation in the Ford family, which makes her extra special. It was surreal, but also one of the happiest moments I've ever expereinced, waking up to a picture of my new baby niece (technically she's my 2nd cousin, but that just doesn't seem fitting). Tears swelled up in my eyes and I smiled all morning while I thought about how Sara held my hand as I grew up and what light she's continuously brought into my life. Little Annie is coming into the world surrounded by the same.

I am so unbelievably happy for all three of them, but especially Baby G, because I know she's going to grow up with the absolute best parents ever in existence, and will be surrounded by an infinite amount of love and happiness and laughter throughout her entire life.

Welcome to the world, Baby G. I can't wait to meet you.

4 years.

Every year on this day I wake up feeling sentimental and sad. August 25th never used to mean anything to me - it was just a regular day in my book. But that changed all in an instant one sunny afternoon as I was walking through campus in Boulder. It's been 4 years to the day since my sweet friend, Brianna passed away.

This morning as I was pondering over a cup of coffee and internally sharing some memories with myself, I re-read this letter I wrote to Brianna on the two year anniversary of her death. The time that's passed seems like a blur now, but somehow through my state of shock and grief (that lasted much longer than what should have been normal), I was able to articulate these timeless words that really resonated this morning:

"In the very last weekend I spent in Parker, right before I moved to Vegas, when I knew it would be the last weekend I ever spent in that town, I drove by your old house where I used to pick you up every morning before school. I sat there in the car staring at your house and just cried. I felt like if I left Parker, I was abandoning your memory. But I've realized I'll never be able to leave you behind because you mean too much to me. You're always going to have a huge place in my heart, no matter where I am in the world."

I remember feeling like if I moved on and moved away from our hometown, that meant letting her go. And although on some level, leaving our neighborhood that was haunted with the memory of her helped with the grieving process, I never really could (or would) let her go. I have not returned to Parker since I moved. It's been almost 2 years since I've set foot in that town, but I have never once for a second stopped loving or learning from her, because no matter where I am in the world, she'll always have a huge place in my heart.

I guess it's true that time heals all wounds, I'm just not the most patient person on the planet. For almost 2 years I cried regularly and grieved hard over the loss of Brianna. I blamed myself a lot, even though her death was not my fault. But somewhere over time, I started to cope. The wound isn't fresh anymore, but there will always be a dull pain in my heart. A cringing feeling in my stomach on this day each year that still lies in disbelief of the things I've heard and seen. But life doesn't stop and we have to keep moving forward. Brianna would have wanted us to all move forward and experience life to the fullest, like she always tried to do. So that's what I have to try and do, for her.

It's hard to believe that 4 years has passed in the blink of an eye. I'm a different person, and I'm sure she would have been too. But I'll continue cling to her beautiful memory and all the things she taught me throughout her life and her death, because she changed me. And I'll never, ever stop loving or missing her, no matter where I am in this world.

Just Don't Worry About It.

Pretty much all my life I've struggled with anxiety. I can remember back to being a kid and having anxiety attacks about something I said or did on the playground or in the classroom that would eat away at me for weeks. Of course, at the time I didn't realize what it was, but as I grew older and it kept happening I realized I'm just kind of an anxious person, and I went through my whole childhood like that.

It got so bad when I was in college that I was giving myself these debilitating stomach aches on a daily basis, to the point where I would get nauseous and start sweating and panicking so badly I honestly thought I would pass out at any second from the intense stomach pain - often times this happened when I was in public, but I would keep it internal. I finally went and got tested for a bunch of things to see if there was something physically wrong with me because I didn't realize that my mental state was actually causing my body to have a physical reaction until the doctors came back with absolutely nothing wrong. And that's when I knew exactly what was wrong.

You see, it's really not easy to struggle with anxiety. You second guess everything you say and do and you're always wondering if what you've said or done is good enough or how it was perceived by everyone else. A thought might randomly pop into your head about something you just remembered you said several weeks ago that will cause you to go into a spiraling panic, start re-evaluating your whole life, and start plotting your move across the country where you can start over and never have to see the person you made that little comment to ever again, even though in reality they probably didn't even notice, care, or frankly will ever think about again. Meanwhile your stomach is churning for days and you're cringing about how stupid you feel for whatever the incident was. Your mind cannot shift away from it until you just can't help but start panicking and wishing you were never born. And then when you finally get over that one, something else pops into your head and the cycle starts again. At least that's usually how it went for me.

So one day I had a thought: I don't have to live like this. And I don't WANT to live like this. Constantly making yourself feel like you could projectile vomit all over everything at any second because you're having an internal panic attack that no one knows about but you is a sad way to go through life. So I realized I had two options. I could either go back to the doctor with my self-diagnosis and ask for some medication that would curb the anxiety but potentially make me feel like a zombie, or I could teach myself how to deal with it. I chose the latter.

I had a breaking point about a year and a half ago when something major happened in my life. I won't go into detail but at the time it felt like the emotional equivalent of someone close to me dying. No one died, for the record, but my anxiety told me to react in the same way. I was panicking and literally started debating packing up and moving somewhere else to start over, which thankfully only ended up turning into a spontaneous week-long trip to LA to visit my best friend and clear my head. Needless to say, I cried and hyperventilated the whole 4 hour drive to LA, and when I got back I decided that I was never going to let THAT happen to me again.

So what did I do? I taught myself how to breathe. I taught myself how to calm down. I taught myself to stop caring what other's thought about me. But most importantly I taught myself to start liking ME. I never really thought about the good qualities I have, like the fact that I'm funny (at least I think I'm funny, and that's all that counts in this situation), I'm smart, I'm a good person, and I put others before myself. And if someone thinks a comment I made is weird and they want to judge me for that, then it's not something I can control, and they're not people I want in my circle. They're the ones missing out on having me in their life, not the other way around. I decided right then that I didn't need or want anyone around me who made me feel like I had to second guess myself, so I began the difficult process of weeding out the people who did. And voila, I instantly started feeling this giant weight lifting off me. I started feeling worthy of being happy and not being so concerned with how I was perceived by everyone around me. I had to train my brain to stop caring and be ok with letting the real Chelsea shine through.

Don't get me wrong, this was extremely difficult and something I'm still working at for sure. It took me a long time to re-train my brain with no professional help whatsoever. But it's been a long while since I've had an anxiety attack and I know that it's because of the combination of people I now have in my life, and some simple advice I was given, "just don't worry about it." Stop worrying so much. Life is too damn short to be so unhappy and self conscious of every little thing. I'm weird, so what? Someday I'm gonna find my weirdo counterpart and nothing else will matter because I won't have to put up a front for anyone. Someone is going to love the best and the weirdest sides of me. And that's how it should be. I already have my weirdo friend-counterparts, which tells me I'm not alone and I'm never going to be alone. Plus, no one is worth that kind of anxiety in the long run of your life so there's no sense in getting all uptight over something that doesn't make you happy or make you a better person.

So the moral of the story is, it's not a losing battle. We all just need to embrace ourselves and our weirdness, because in the end no one can make you happy but yourself. And finding inner happiness is the key to finding happiness with others (or so I've been told).

I also love this Thought Catalog post titled, Everyone Is Weird. But more on that later.