1st day as a Buff.

Well, the dread is ALMOST over.
I have 1 more class and then I can walk these blistered feet home
make some dinner
watch some "Sex and the City"
and fall asleep.

I didn't realize what a far walk it is from my apartment.
Having to do it twice a day will get old I'm sure.
I need to look into the bus system.

Tomorrow:
Sleeeeeep innnnnn.
Class from 2:30-3:45.
Relaxation time, and do it all again on Wednesday.

I still get that good feeling from this place.
And if I can survive the first and scariest day,
I can get through the rest.

Last day of Summer.

It's the very last day of 2009's Summer.
How will I spend it?
Walking around campus finding my classes for tomorrow.

Boy am I nervous to start school.

Shmeeee.

Comcast.

Lets never use them, ok?
They have repeatedly screwed me over this week
on installing my
internet and cable.

Cancel my appointment,
reschedule it for days later,
then have the wrong address,
now have 6 minutes to get here
or I raise hell.
(And it won't be a pretty sight.)

Boulder Bound.

I'm here in Boulder! My apartment is all set up (except for internet and cable which comcast screwed me on...) and I am all alone.

I've been talking with my old roomies from Kansas and it makes me sad to not be sitting there laughing with them, but I know this is what was right for me.

Tomorrow I have a meeting with my advisor at 9:00. Then off to do some grocery shopping, then maybe exploring Boulder and getting used to my surroundings.

It's hard being away from home and being alone in an apartment, but I made this decision on my own and I know that I just need to be strong and independent and know I'll get through it.

All the wasted anxiety I have is pointless and irrational and I need to keep reminding myself that this is my new home. This is it. I need to be happy with where I'm at.

Classes start Monday, and hopefully by then I will have the mindset that I am where I need to be. Bolder is great, Boulder is great, Boulder is great.

moving forward.

It was a hard morning saying goodbye to my ninos. I thought I'd get to spend the whole day with them after they got out of kindergarten, but their mom ended up picking them up so I had to say goodbye. Andrew said "bye mommy" to me and I just about died. :( I guess I need to move forward and focus on something new now, as hard as that is.

Also, it's the second to last day before I have to officially move up to Boulder. I don't really want to go yet, but it has to be done. I need to accept it as my new home and move forward because otherwise I'll end up sitting in my apartment all alone everyday, being miserable.

Another thing, do you ever have this like..."itch you can't scratch" kinda thing? Something you want but can't have? I feel like it's been the story of my life for the past couple years now. I need to get it together and move forward. It needs to stop being my ongoing theme.

Sweet summer is coming to a close with a day or Red Robin burgers and errands with my best friend, Jill, dinner with my family and packing. Then tomorrow, lunch with my friend Tyler, more packing, probably some tears, and a lot of ice cream. Then I'll move forward and start up at my new school.

My Twins.

Tomorrow is my last day with the little munchkins I've been watching all summer. I'm really sad about it because I feel like they need me so much. I sometimes wish (but not really...) that I could quit everything and be their full time babysitter and raise them because so far, no one in their lives is doing a very good job.

As I look over and see them gazing at the TV, I feel very sad. I hate change, and I hate endings. As much grief and hard work it was watching them all summer, as many temper tantrums I've witnessed and giggle fits I've been a part of, I am going to miss them so very much.

Maybe I'm just upset and nervous about going back to school that anything is making me sad. But nevertheless, this really is sad to me. I wont have this job next summer, and I probably wont be spending any more time with them. I've gotten to know them so well this summer and it's really sad to let them go.

They're like my precious little devils.

Fall.

Today I woke up, and it was fall.

I can just tell by the air. The sun is shining but there is something different about the breeze blowing. It's cold and crisp and feels like fall.

I love fall. It's the most beautiful season to me. When the trees are changing colors and everything shifts from green to orange and yellow.

The weather is cold enough to need long sleeves but not yet cold enough for a jacket. The skies are half overcast, half sunny, and leaves are falling everywhere.

There is so much to look forward to. Halloween, Thanksgiving, and then Christmas soon after that.

You can sit anywhere and just bask in how pretty and peaceful everything is.

I have a very romantic view of fall.

I want to hold someones hand and walk through the trees and feel beautiful and alive.
I want to roll around in a pile of leaves and act like an idiot while I'm enjoying this beautiful life.

Fall brings me so much hope.