2012.

Since I already did my big year-end post on the one-year anniversary of graduating college, I thought I'd switch up my annual year in review blog by doing a recap of my top 10 best moments of 2012. Although this year was very challenging, emotional, and full of changes, I did have QUITE a big year with lots of pretty incredible moments as well. Here's to bidding this year a big PEACE OUT and welcoming what's sure to be an awesome 2013.

10. Turning 23.

I wasn't expecting my 23rd birthday to be anything special. It's not a big milestone in life, so I didn't have high expectations. Plus it was right smack dab in the middle of an unfortunate first half of the year, so I really could have skipped it all together. But it turned out to be WONDERFUL. Spent at Lake Mead with my god-sisters floating on the lake and drinking beers, followed by fondue at the Melting Pot with my family. Oh, and did I mention it was also the day I got offered a job at Digital Royalty? Talk about exceeding my wildest expectations. A non-milestone turned monumental day in my year.

9. Golden Gate Bridge

Growing up in Southern California is always something I've been proud of. I love SoCal and I hope to move back there again at some point in my life. But somehow I lived there for 12 years and never managed to make it all the way up to Northern California - until this year when my sister moved to San Jose. I got the opportunity to help her out by driving her car from Vegas to LA and then all the way up the coast of California. It was amazing getting to watch the sunrise over the ocean as I made my way up north. And then after getting to San Jose, we drove even further to see one of California's monuments and something I've never seen in person - The Golden Gate Bridge. It was only for a short time, but something I'll definitely never forget. The entire experience.

8. Obama Re-blog.

On Halloween I dressed up as Rosie the Riveter. It was actually the first time I "spoke out" about my political views during this election cycle because I was trying not to get too emotionally invested Ala 2008. But I decided to rock a "Women For Obama" pin with my costume and voila - the Obama campaign saw my picture on Tumblr and re-blogged it for the world to see. It got over 2700 notes in 3 hours and I had friends and family calling me from all over the country screaming with excitement that they saw it. I was super proud and excited that my tiny little political statement was actually making a bigger impact than I intended. Definitely one of the most exciting days of the year. Oh yeah, and then Obama got re-elected soooo I'm pretty sure that pin was good luck.

7. Goffstein Wedding

Love was in the air this summer as my God-sister, Courtney married the love of her life, Shane. It was a beautiful wedding and a huge milestone for Court. I'm so glad I got to be there for it, and she made a GORGEOUS bride.

6. Paso Robles

Before Courtney & Shane tied the knot, we took a girls weekend trip to Paso Robles for wine tasting. Sounds mellow, right? Wrong. There was tons of wine, cheese, wigs, an all-day limo, naked hot-tubing, bright purple teeth, and possibly even some passing out at the Vineyards. Hey, us single ladies had to help Courtney celebrate her departure from the singles club and her entrance into married life SOMEHOW. I think we managed pretty darn well - and luckily Paso Robles is still standing.

5. Josiah Leming

Meeting Josiah Leming was on my bucket list. I've loved his music so much for so long so when he came to Vegas this summer, Connor and I made it our business to be there. Turns out, it was a super intimate show with less than 20 people in the audience (lucky for us!). We found him after his set and got to talk to him for a while which was a complete dream come true for both of us. He is SUCH a cool guy and it made me love him even more.

4. Disneyland

My happy place. I don't remember when I started this tradition with Cory, but whenever it was long ago, it's become a defining characteristic of US. We are Disney. Does that make sense? Anyways, After a several-year-long dry spell, I got to go TWICE in 2012. The first time was pretty much like a therapy session that helped me through a broken heart and put some much needed perspective back in my life. I came away from that trip feeling refreshed and ready to take on the rest of the year. The second trip? Purely about being with Cory, having fun, and experiencing Disneyland (for my first time ever) around Halloween. Complete and total awesomeness.

3. Digital Royalty

Getting hired at Digital Royalty was definitely one of the TOP highlights of my year. I am SO incredibly lucky to have landed this gig in July with the absolute best team of Renegades imaginable. I get to do what I love every single day surrounded by super supportive people who make me happy to be at work on Monday mornings (and every other morning as well). Like I've said before, I'm so glad the universe placed me here, it's definitely where I'm meant to be at this point in my life.

2. Yosemite

My family trip to Yosemite in August was one for the books. I love my family so, SO much and get-togethers with the entire extended clan are few and far between these days, so it was just wonderful to have everyone there at one of our favorite places on earth, spending some much needed time in the fresh air. I also got to cross "hike the panorama trail as an adult" off my bucket list. Biggest physical challenge of the year for sure, but so worth it. 8.5 miles of treacherous hiking really taught me a lot about what I'm capable of in my life, and also helped me clear my head about some personal things going on in my world at that time. It was a trip I will not be forgetting anytime soon and I wish we could do a vacation like that every year.

1. Coldplay

Duh, this was obviously my number one incredible moment of 2012. I haven't stopped talking about it since! Last Christmas my brother and I bought tickets to see Coldplay in Seattle and I anxiously counted down the days until I flew up there and we got to see our favorite band EVER live. And the concert was the most incredible production I've ever seen. Not even exaggerating, it was life-changing. I still can't put it into words. I wish I could re-live that night every day forever.

[Notable mention: Signing a lease at the Juhl with Leah (we move in February 1st!), Cory's 23rd birthday extravaganza in Vegas, and Muhammad Ali's birthday party.]

Cheers to at LEAST 10 incredible moments in 2013 for all of us. Looking so forward to sending this year off and seeing what this next year brings my way. 

2012? Over it.

Sandy Hook.

I've been waking up everyday feeling so heartbroken for the last week. It has always deeply effected me when huge tragedies happen in our world. I remember when Columbine happened in 1999, I was just a kid having nightmares every night about my worst fear come true. My mind doesn't let these things go. I can't just learn about something that devastating and let it graze over and continue about my daily business. My empathy levels tend to be a little bit heightened compared to the average person and sometimes I'm not sure whether or not that's a good thing.

So back to my original point. I woke up today feeling so heartbroken for the world I live in. It makes me feel helpless and small and like I have no control. And in situations like this, I know I'm right. The only thing I can do is mourn the loss of the lives of 20 children and 6 adults and be upset that this is what it's come to in my country.

Or can I? I decided last night that I'm committing to the #26acts movement started by Ann Curry because if there is anything I could possibly do to pass on hope and spread kindness for a seemingly helpless world, I'm damn sure going to give it my all.

The thing that really bothers me the most is that these situations are no longer the outliers. They're no longer random acts of hatred or mental illness or whatever you want to justify the reason as. They aren't the random freak accidents that happen once every 10 years that you think "wow, I can't believe that just happened" and move on until the next freak accident happens many years later. I do not believe that this case was the outlier, because it's happening all the time. This year alone I can think of at least 5 mass shootings in the United States at malls and movie theaters and schools. And that's 5 too many.

So how can we simply write these incidents off as random tragedies and sit back and not make a change? I might be small and helpless or even naive if that's what you think of me, but I will not bow down to this and not even try like we're currently doing as a nation. We're letting these tragedies walk all over us as we refuse to make changes and address real issues. We let this happen when we say things like "now is not the time to talk about gun control" and "can we not turn this into a political debate?" When exactly is the right time to talk about this? Because lately as soon as we're finished mourning the loss of lives from one shooting rampage, another one happens and we're back to feeling helpless and asking why bad things happen to good people. They happen because we're allowing them to happen.

Instead of asking why and sweeping the politics under the rug, why don't we buck up as a nation and admit to ourselves that we have a problem. Why can't we put aside our beliefs and stop justifying certain things because "it's our right" and actually admit to ourselves that this is NOT OK. And I'm not even saying that this is simply a gun control issue because it's more than that. We don't do anything to help people with mental illness either. But with that being said, I also don't believe that everyone who goes on a shooting rampage has a mental illness. I think we need to look at the entire picture and ask what we can do in each area to take even a preventative measure because as of right now, we're not doing a damn thing to even attempt to prevent this kind of incident from happening. Not a damn thing, because when this happens we refuse to go there. We have to stop this attitude towards the conversation.

And if you honestly think that stricter gun control laws in this country would not reduce the number of gun-related homicides in the US, you are kidding yourself. And to those saying that gun control is not the answer and is not going to stop these events: No. I understand that we can't make it impossible for every homicidal maniac to get his/her hands on a gun, but we can sure as hell make it a lot harder. And completely shutting down the conversation because you like your guns and assume that any conversation is headed towards you losing your "rights" as an American is helping absolutely no one. At the very LEAST, every single person should be rallying behind better mental health evaluations for those looking to purchase a gun. But they're not, and it's appalling to me.

I'm so unbelievably heartbroken and sad over the shooting in Newtown, CT. I can't help but feel like we as a nation have failed these children with our justifications and our ability to ignore a serious problem. If now is not the time to address what's really wrong, then when is the time? When will you be willing to stop and listen? When will you be willing to stop clinging to your guns long enough to have an honest conversation about this? Your right is to bear arms to protect yourself, yes, but your right is not to own a semi-automatic machine gun that can fire 30 rounds per second or whatever the case may be. Your right is not to own a gun and walk into an elementary school and kill 20 children and 6 faculty members.

I can't even accurately articulate the hole I'm feeling in my heart, and I know I'm not the only one.  Praying is nice, and hugs are great, but it's time we step up and do more than that. We owe it to our nation and all the innocent lives that were so unjustly taken from the world. If the only physical thing I can do in this situation is 26 random acts of kindness, then I will show everyone I meet that there's still hope for this world. I will do my part to honor the children and teachers who were victims of this preventable act, but I will not stop fighting for them either. Ever.

What a difference a YEAR makes.

It's really hard for me to believe it's been exactly one full year today since I graduated from college. I remember waking up on December 16th, 2011 feeling a cross between excited that this day had finally arrived, and sick to my stomach from being hours away from saying goodbye to my friends and my apartment and my life in Boulder. My family flew in from Vegas and New York to be there for the ceremony, help me pack up, and send me off into the next chapter of my life.

I remember thinking "HALLELUJAH, I never have to write another term paper or take another math test ever again!" and "oh... what am I gonna do from here on out?" My whole life I had been a student. I spend 4.5 years at 2 different colleges, I knew my routine, I knew how to BS my way through a paper and exactly how long I needed to study for a test to pass. I was good at being a student and I liked it. I really didn't know what the next chapter had in store for me and I was both terrified and eager to find out.

My incredible cousin, Sara flew in from New York to support me which I was SO thankful for. I've always looked up to her and she's always had the best advice and life lessons that I've been able to relate to. I knew when she got there that some deep and probably emotional talks were in my immediate future (and of course that was accurate). I don't remember every detail of that weekend, but I distinctly remember this talk I had with Sara. She told me that the first year out of college was going to be the most challenging year I've ever experienced, but that I was going to learn so much about myself in the process. She had been there, she knew the struggles, so I gladly took that piece of advice and tried to prepare myself.


So ready or not, I packed up my tiny apartment, dropped off my keys, and drove away with my dad in the U-Haul and my brother in the passenger seat of my car. As I drove away from Boulder I looked in my rear view mirror and could see the beautiful Flatirons getting smaller and smaller and I sobbed while Rivers and Roads was playing in the background. It was like something out of a damn movie and it still gets me to this day. I already missed Boulder so much more than I could imagine and I wasn't even 10 miles into my journey to Vegas.

I wish I could say that Sara was wrong in her advice, but like always, she was dead right. In fact, she was so right that I have thought about her words every single day for the last year. This entire year since the day I graduated has been the most challenging year of my life on almost every possible front, but in the process, I became Chelsea 2.0. I have learned more about myself from this year than any other year in my life, and I've grown up in ways I wasn't expecting.

Upon all the changes I was facing and the new environment I was living in, I had to run to LA at the start of the year so my best friend could dig me out of a very heart broken hole, and that basically set the tone for the rest of the year. I got diagnosed with a herniated disc and a bulging disc in my low back, I was unemployed for 8 months, I got completely overlooked for what I thought was my destiny and dream job, I had no choice but to live at home with my parents, and I started dating someone again for the first time in 5 years which ended after getting in a serious car accident and spending the night in the hospital in neck braces. Thanks, heard ya loud and clear, universe. Talk about a low.

I basically got to a point where I couldn't keep letting the universe take a shit on me so I decided 3 things: I was not going to cry over the past anymore (which I haven't.. except once, no one's perfect), I was going to get myself out of situations where I wasn't happy (which I did), and I was going to actively practice patience (hardest of the 3). Once I did those 3 things, my year started rounding a serious corner.

After 7 months I landed a job interview with Digital Royalty and luckily they took a chance on me and offered me a job - on my birthday. I knew right then that it was a sign from the universe and that this was the turning point. I knew from day one that this was the perfect job for me. I loved everything about it and everyone on the dR team. And now, 5 months in, I couldn't imagine a better fit for me. I get to do what I love every day, and it's made me realize that no matter how long I had to wait to get to this point, the universe had my back all along. I just needed to be patient and trust that all the challenges I faced happened for a reason and I'm a better person because of it.

I'm now getting ready to move out of my parents house and into an apartment in Downtown Vegas with my friend & co-worker, Leah. One full year since the day I graduated, my life is at a complete 180 from where it was. And although it's been one hell of a hard year, I actually did learn a lot about myself in the process. I'm more determined than I thought, stronger than I thought, more spontaneous than I thought, more mature than I thought, less willing to put up with negativity and passive aggressiveness than I thought, and headed down a different direction than I thought. It might be a different path than what I originally expected I would head down, but it's a BETTER path. I'm happier and better than I thought I could be thanks to that year-one shit storm.



And just to be clear, this entire year was definitely not a bust. I did have some really great moments. I got to see Coldplay in Seattle with my brother, watched KU go to the NCAA Basketball finals, went to California a total of 8 times (whoa...), I got to spend a TON of time with my best friend Cory, I got to have a lot of hugs and girls nights with Lindsey, got to watch my other God-sister Courtney marry the love of her life, went to Yosemite with my entire extended family, went to Muhammad Ali's birthday party, met some incredible people, slept in every day for 8 months, went to Disneyland TWICE, and met Josiah Leming and Seal. Can't complain about a tough year too much when I had some really awesome adventures in between.

So the point of this post is, TRUST that the universe (or whatever forces you believe in) has your back, even if it might not seem like it sometimes. It can't rain forever. What's meant to be will find it's way to you if you're open to taking chances on things that may be out of the realm of what you think your future should look like. If there's anything I've learned, it's that it's never going to look like what you're thinking, but that can potentially be a great thing.

And thank you, if you're reading this. Whether you played an active role in this cycle or not, thanks for being in my life and helping me get to this point. One year after graduating college I can say with confidence that I'm truly happy with the road I'm on and at peace with this past year. I feel like a new Chelsea which is pretty exciting stuff.

And thanks again for the wise words, Sara. I'm looking forward to seeing what year 2 has in store.

Make it count.

As we dive head first into the last month of the year I can't help but take a second to be sentimental. It's the Cancer in me, what can I say? I won't get TOO far into the year-end wrap up just yet, since there is still a full month left ahead. But I also cannot believe how fast this year has come and gone. It sounds cliche, I'm sure. But a full year has come and gone in the blink of an eye.

At this time exactly one year ago I was still in college, getting ready to take finals and pack up my life to leave it all behind in search of my next move. I wasn't sure of anything and I felt more forced to leave than ready. It's sad to think about but I barely even remember that girl right now. She seems so far away from where I am now that it's hard to imagine what I was thinking and feeling. All I remember is taking a huge jump into a pool of uncertainty and just hoping to keep my head above water until I could figure out where to swim to.

With all that being said, now I'm ready for what comes next. We're about the hit the 1 year since graduation mark and to me, that point signifies the turning of a corner. I think it started rounding out a couple months ago, but starting in 2013 my path will be a little more clear, a little more consistent, and a little less bumpy. I truly have faith that good things are going to be happening in 2013.

But as much as I'm eager to see what the next year holds, I want to enjoy the last month of 2012. It's been one of the hardest and most challenging years of my life - physically, mentally, and emotionally. However, right at the very tail end I'm feeling at peace with where I've been and how far I've come. I want to bask in this for a little bit. I need to appreciate the journey that this year has been so I can REALLY appreciate what comes next.

To making December count.

Thanksgiving.

Well, I sort of failed at my annual November giving thanks routine, but that doesn't mean I'm not and haven't been thankful all along. You see, as much as I love my blog and having the freedom to write and put my thoughts out there, I love even more that I'm at a place in my life where I don't HAVE to write 4 times a week to keep myself going. I'm busy - in a GOOD way. And I'm happy about that.

I just got back from California for the holiday and it was an adventure to say the least. In the last 10ish years my immediate family has gone from celebrating in our traditional way to giving up and going out to dinner every year. But since moving to Vegas we've been lucky enough to spend the last 2 Thanksgivings in California with the rest of the clan - but not without your typical family drama.

See, I LOVE spending time with my extended family so much. I love them more than anything and I get so giddy and excited about family get-togethers (unlike most people who tend to despise family time because of all the drama involved). Me? I sat at the dinner table watching everyone yelling about "PASS THE MASHED POTATOES DOWN!" and "WHERE THE HELL IS UNCLE JOHN?" and "YOU ONLY GET ONE ROLL THIS YEAR, KYLA! WE DON'T WANT A REPEAT OF LAST YEAR!" and I thought to myself, God, I love this. This is my family. We are loud and dramatic and crazy but we are together and we love each other and that's just about the best thing I could have in my life. It's not very often that we're all together in the same place at the same time, so when we are I try to soak it up and appreciate every second.

We even had a little "snort" of scotch in honor of Sally as we went around the table and gave thanks for all the wonderful things about her that we love and will miss. It was really special.

And of course, the after dinner jam sesh that I LIVE for.

And since I failed so miserably at blogging my thanks this year, I give you the top 10 things I'm thankful for this year:

10. Lessons learned.
Before I get too deep into the awesome things that make me appreciative, I'm also thankful for the sometimes not-so-awesome stuff. I may not be at the time it's happening, but I'm able to look back on the many, MANY lessons I've learned this year and be thankful. I've learned a lot about a lot and I'm a better person for it.

9. Vegas.

Moving here has been a huge blessing to me. It took some adjusting and a long time to get to a happy place, but it definitely has become my home in just one short year. I'm grateful that I'm here and I'm happy.

8. The ninos.
Sophie and Nick (the kids I babysat for for the first 7 months of the year) kept me sane when I first moved to Vegas. They kept me occupied and upbeat and on my toes. I was quickly headed down a path that included wading through a shit storm and without even knowing it, they kept my head above water. I love those kids. 

7. My God-sister Lindsey.

Of course I'm always thankful for Lindsey - or as I like to call her now, Dr. Murphy. This has been a year of changes with many ups and downs for both of us, but she's been at my side through EVERY single part of this year. I honestly do not know what I would have done without her next to me, arm-n-arm, helping me through.

6. My siblings.

Duh. I love Ashley and Connor more than the average person loves their siblings. And I miss them both more than the average person misses their siblings. And lucky for me, I've had the opportunity to visit both of them in their cities this year, San Fran & Seattle.

5. Sally.
Thanksgiving was not the same this year, but I won't be forgetting our toast to our gal any time soon. She was all around.

4. New friends.

The new friends I've made both in Vegas and around the country, since moving here and since starting my job. They've made me wonder how I could have possibly gone so long without them. Surrounded by some really great people and couldn't be more happy about having them in my life.

3. My job.
I can't express how thankful I am for dR and the entire dR team. I'm so lucky that the universe placed me right where I was supposed to be. I thought I knew where I was meant to be and I fought kicking and screaming to get there, but thankfully the universe had a different plan for me that I just couldn't see and I could not be happier with the outcome. I can't imagine a better fit for me. I'm so grateful. Note to self: trust the universe.

2. Cory.

Soulmate. Always. And I'm thankful that living in Vegas has allowed us to live closer together once again and for the first time in 11 years, spend SO much more time together. It's been more important than ever to me this year, and it's been incredible having her close.

1. My fam.
They've shown me on multiple occasions throughout the year - they've got my back. No matter what. And for that, I couldn't be more thankful to have the family that I do.

Sally.

Today I'm thankful for my Sally.

Since the day I was born Sally was at every birthday, every Thanksgiving, every graduation, every milestone, for my family and I. She was an important, shining member of our family and sadly she passed away early yesterday morning. She was a light in my life - always so positive and encouraging. Her laugh was loud and contagious and her hugs were strong. She spoke her mind, and took a genuine interest in everyone around her. She never missed an opportunity to be present.

I'm not sure what it will be like without her at every family celebration from here on out, but I do know that there will be a noticeable empty place where she'll be loved and missed forever. The only thing to do now is to keep her incredible spirit alive and never let that flame go out.

I'm thankful for the many years I got to have her in my life. For the laughs we used to share, and for the most amazing hugs you can imagine. Thanks, Sally, for flying out to my high school graduation AND my 21st birthday party. And for taking care of us so well when grandpa died. Those are the memories I will take with me and cherish forever. You are so, so loved.

25 years.

Today I'm recognizing how thankful I am for my parents,
who just celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary this week.
Happy silver.

Please note the hair.

25 years.

I can't even imagine where I'll be ONE year from now, let alone 25 years. But how lucky am I to have been raised by two people who have stayed committed to each other for so long? I hope that one day I'll be lucky enough to follow in their footsteps.

And not only am I thankful for having their marriage as a role model for strength, endurance, and commitment, I'm lucky to have been raised by some pretty kick-ass people as well. I look up to my parents so much and I probably still lean on them more than I should. But I'm thankful that they've supported me through every stage of my life, every single up and down, all the uncertainties, the exciting times, the not-so-good times, my best and worst moments. They've always had my back and I couldn't ask for much more than that.

Cheers to you guys.

Youth.

Today I want to recognize how thankful I am for my youth. I REALLY love being 23 years old. 

When I was a kid I was so eager to grow up as fast as possible. I always wanted to hang with the big kids. I never liked sitting at the kids table at Christmas. Yet I always ended up being the youngest person in the room (and still usually am). But over time I've come to embrace that fact and love it because I know I'll never be this young again.

I'm thankful that I still get to enjoy going out on Friday nights and being hungover all day on Saturday and sometimes into Sunday.

I'm thankful that I sometimes get random urges to take the zip line down Fremont Street at 2am. And that I have the energy to be spontaneous.

I'm thankful that I'm at a point in my life where I can enjoy learning and growing and I don't have to know everything just yet. I'm thankful that I have the freedom to be my own person and have my own experiences and that it's ok to be selfish about it sometimes.

I'm thankful that it's understood that I'm young and therefore am expected to make mistakes and learn from them. I'm thankful that I'm young enough to still be finding out who I am and where my life is going and that I don't have to have it all figured out by now. I don't WANT to have it all figured out by now.

And I'm thankful that I still get the most intense amount of joy from going to Disneyland - the one place on earth that knows how to bring out the kid in me and remind me that growing up is overrated.

My recent favorite quote by Steve Jobs: 

Stay hungry, stay foolish.

The Democratic Process.

On this day in November, the night before my second presidential election, I'm thankful for the democratic process. 

I don't think I acknowledge enough how lucky I am to live in a country where I have rights and choices and a chance to use my voice. I take it for granted, for sure. But with the presidential election looming over my head, I'm definitely acknowledging that right now. I'm thankful for the chance to speak my mind and stand up for what I believe in. You might disagree with me, you might even say horrible things about me and my party as a whole - outspokenly, behind our backs, or passive aggressively, but that's your right as well. I will never stop standing up for myself and my family and my friends and every single American in this wonderful nation. I believe in us. I believe how great this country can be. I believe in pushing forward and progressing as a nation until we reach our full potential where everyone is treated equally and has choices and is given the same opportunity to love and succeed.

So today (and tomorrow as well), I'm thankful for the opportunity to voice my opinion. Whether I win or lose, I will never stop fighting for myself, and for you, and for all of us.

Voter apathy is not an excuse. Use the voice you've been given. Stand up. Participate. Love your country. Respect yourself and the people around you. I voted. Did you?

To saying YES.

It feels like it's been a long time since I wrote anything substantial. Looking back on pretty much this entire year I've struggled with what to say for almost every single situation I've been thrown into. It hasn't been easy feeling like my one means of outlet has had a wall up around it. I guess it's probably out of fear for who might actually read the intense things that would inevitably come out of my mind if I really let myself go there. Sometimes I'm not sure I want to even share them with the world - or  the 3ish people I'm certain read my blog.

But all that is beside the point. I really have been trying to pick it up lately. In fact, this morning I was newly inspired (again) by my best friend who wrote a blog post about making a pact with herself on a new degree of discipline with her writing.

It struck me because I've always had that. When I was in college I used to work writing into my schedule 3, 4 times a week. Somehow this year I've completely set writing on the back burner. I recently took a trip to California again - perfect material, yet somehow I have yet to post about it. I've even let my annual, blogging TRADITION fall by the wayside - my yearly "I am thankful" segment. Believe me, I was all about to pick up the pace and start promptly on November 1st, but I failed at that too out of laziness. And then I read Cor's blog and in the second line saw the phrase "Yes-vember." Boom. There is was.

Chelsea - quit saying no. Quit shelving the things you want to do for yourself. Write, and if someone doesn't want to read it then that's their problem. This is your life. Let it out. Be intense. Be boring. Be yourself. It's not too late to pick up the 2012 pace and get yourself back on track. Start with your blog and work your way from there. It's helped in the past and it will work again.

YES-vember is the perfect time because there's already a built in theme. What are you thankful for? Every day. Be thankful every single day. Start 4 days late - who cares! Start saying YES to yourself.

Today I'm thankful for the fact that I'm sensitive enough to language and thought that one simple word has the power to inspire me.

To saying YES this month and tackling my favorite time of year head on.

We can do it!

You guys. Something awesome happened today.

Yesterday was Halloween. I wasn't as into it this year as I was last year, and at one point the night before I almost just gave up on my costume all together. But I hung on for the childhood thrill of pretending to be someone else for a day. We all need that every once in a while.

So I decided to go as Rosie the Riveter. I know it's overdone and probably cliche, but it's also an election year so I thought it was fitting. Plus, she's an icon and a total bad ass and I needed a little bad assery in my life for a moment. So I dawned my red lipstick and wore that bandana to work.

I had my friend and co-worker, Julie take a picture of me in the "Rosie Pose" from my iPhone - simply for the joy of Instagramming it. But of course, being in social media I had to also share out on Facebook and Twitter and Tumblr.

Turns out, someone from the Obama campaign (or maybe Obama himself? I dream...) saw my picture and reblogged it. And in the last 2 hours it's gotten over 2,000 re-blogs and likes, putting a HUGE smile on my face.

Mostly because, we CAN do it. And beyond the Halloween costume, I believe in it. I believe in our president and I believe in women's rights and I feel damn good knowing that my little Instagram picture is getting shared around. Thanks for the support, world.

Also, I guess it's been officially decided via tumblr that my new doppelganger is Hilary Duff. Or Lizzie McGuire, if you will.

Hump Day Pep Talk.

Sometimes on a Wednesday afternoon you just need a pep talk to get you through the rest of the day. They don't call it hump day for nothing. Wednesday afternoons are designed to test your patience, to see if you're mentally strong enough to make it over the hill to the end of the week.

Today, for me, every turn is testing my patience, making me second guess myself, making me feel like maybe I'm not doing a good enough job at whatever it is I'm doing at that given moment. I've been feeling so frustrated and down all day because I just can't seem to get it together. I can't seem to get it right. I'm just a half step behind.

But I have to forge ahead. I have to keep on trucking. Sometimes things work on the first try, and sometimes they take a bunch of failed attempts. But the point is, I'm not giving up. I've thought so many times today about handing the reins over to someone else and letting them take over because I'm obviously just not getting it. But I have to remind myself that I'm not failing. I'm learning. I'm getting better. I'm trying my damndest and I will not give up on myself because I know better than that.

Each trial teaches me more about myself, what I can handle, what I can accomplish and as much as it might take everything I have to make it up the Wednesday hill, tomorrow I'll be on the downhill slope coasting my way into awesome town.

A Year.

Time is such a strange concept to me. Days, weeks, and even years go by in the blink of an eye, but sometimes they seem so long. Sometimes I can't believe it's only been a year because it seems like forever ago. But sometimes, like today, it feels like it hasn't been that long.



A year ago today my brothers best friend, Scott took his own life for reasons we'll never know or be able to explain. It was one of the lowest points I can remember in my life because I felt helpless. I was in the middle of my last semester of college, trying to figure out what I was going to do with my life, and struggling to cope with the changes up ahead. Yet in the middle of all that, the only thing that mattered to me was my brother. I wanted to take his pain away so badly and make it my own so he would never again have to suffer the way he was. Nothing anyone said or did made the reality of the situation any better. And looking back on it, a year has felt like both an eternity and like no time at all.

In the light of the day I realize that it brought me and Connor closer together. I wish it didn't take things like this to make that happen, but it does. Nothing brings people closer together like holding each other for hours at the funeral of someone who was gone too soon.



I've also been reflecting on how a year ago today was also the closing of some other doors in my life, without even realizing it at the time. I had some "last times" which make me sad to think about. That night was such a blur as I tried to drink away my sorrows with Adios Mother Fuckers and a sleepover so I wouldn't be alone. As much as I was trying to forget, I remember it as clear as ever. And part of me wishes I didn't.

I miss Scott everyday. He was always there to help our family out. He practically lived at our house for the better part of 10 years. And most of all, he was the best friend my brother has ever known. And for that, he'll always be like a brother to me. He didn't know how loved he was, how appreciated he was, how special he was to those around him.

I've said this once and I'll say it again, because the point still stands as I write this a full year later:

Tell people you love them, and do it now. Reconcile. Let everything else be water under the bridge. Try not to take things too personally. Love so much and enjoy this wonderful life you've been given.

#TeamRenegades

Tomorrow is a HUGE day for Digital Royalty and I'm so lucky to be a part of it. In case you missed it, I started working at dR a few months back. It's my first real big-girl job out of college and it's everything I could have hoped for in the start of my career. I love what I do, I love the team I'm on, and I'm happy coming to work every single day. For a young woman who's still trying to carve her path through post-grad life with all it's emotional instability and daily challenges, this job has been my saving grace. I work with some of the most nurturing and supportive people who work hard and teach me every day. They've taken me under their wing and without even knowing it, have been guiding me through my young adult life. It's a pretty special thing, and I'm really lucky to be where I am at this point in my life.

With that said, I feel even luckier to be a part of such an incredible company at this time as well. Tomorrow, the founder and CEO of dR - AKA the most kick-ass boss in all of the land, Amy Jo Martin - launches her book that she poured her heart and soul into. I had the opportunity to read the book before I even started working and as someone who has always been an early adapter of social media, I felt like it was written just for me. It's called Renegades Write the Rules and each day I get to experience a new level of it. I've secretly been implementing all her tips and tricks into my own social presence, and BOOM. I've seen massive positive changes. If reading the book didn't make me a believer, the proof was in the pudding.

Amy Jo is the epitome of the Renegades she writes about. It's really inspiring to watch and learn about her journey to this point. And the more I learn and witness, the luckier I feel for the opportunity to work with her and the amazing team of renegades she's built.

But the point of this post was not to promote the company or the book (though an added bonus), it was to express how grateful I am for what I'm a part of. I started my post-grad journey feeling mad at the world and like the universe was against me. I thought I would have to eventually settle for a desk job pushing papers and inputting useless numbers into some database just hating my life. Instead, I've had the opportunity to do what I love, keep learning, become friends with some amazing people, and feel HAPPY. I finally feel like I have a purpose and it feels pretty damn great.

Happy launch day to the entire dR team. Go #TeamRenegades, the most inspiring bunch of social media nerds I've ever met.

The Perks of Being Nostalgic.

My weekend goal was to read The Perks of Being a Wallflower in it's entirety. It's actually only about 210 pages and the pages are smaller than a normal book, so it's fairly short. I knew it wouldn't take me long to read it, even though I'm probably the slowest reader in the land. No joke, I have to read every line in my head like I'm saying it out loud. I have to pause at the commas and read each line using expression and emphasis. It's just the way I process it, but it takes me much longer than the average speed-reader to cruise through a book.

Anyways, the book was fantastic. It was very well written which is hard to come by these days when recent best seller books are likened to that of Stephanie Meyer. It's always refreshing to read something that ISN'T a best seller because someone has an amazing publicist, no matter how terribly insulting the language and tone is to other writers. Not saying I'm going to write amazing books in my life, but I know good writing when I see it. And this book had some great writing.

I could relate to the main character in some ways. He very blatantly is battling depression over things he couldn't control and broke down crying at almost everything. I've been that person, and from time to time, still am. I couldn't relate to his central problem (no spoilers here) but it did make me nostalgic for past times.  Specifically high school, as that's where the story takes place.

I actually just visited with an old friend from high school a few nights ago and we did a little reminiscing and talking about how everyone we know is married now except us. Sometimes I still feel like that 17 year old girl who was just graduating from high school and scared to go to college and suffering my first heart break and going to prom with my best friend and walking down those halls one last time before never turning back.

The thing is, I don't think I'd necessarily want to go back to that time. It was hard enough the first go-round. But sometimes I can't help but think back to a time when I could not see the day I'm living in now. I couldn't even GUESS what the year 2012 would look like, and I don't think I had even ever thought that far ahead. I can't even picture what THAT Chelsea was thinking. All I know is, that Chelsea had a bunch of different priorities and goals and friendships than the Chelsea of 2012 does. It makes me wonder what the Chelsea of 2017 will be like. I wonder if she'll look back on today and still get that nostalgic feeling.

Anyways, while I'm feeling nostalgic, I thought I'd share some pictures of THAT Chelsea that not a lot of people in my life now ever met. Sometimes it's hard for me to even remember her. What I do know about her is that she was naive but she was happy. And she always had hope that good things were in store for her future. She didn't know the road between high school and now would be as hard and challenging as it was, but she knew in the end she'd come out ok. And she was right.

Short and sweet.

I made a promise to myself that I would write more once I got back from Yosemite. And it looks as though I haven't kept that promise - but I actually have, I just haven't published anything I've written. I just realized I have 5 or 6 unpublished posts just waiting for me to hit send. Unfortunately, I don't think I will. There's some things I think I'll just keep to myself.

For the sake of a quick update, my life has been a complete roller coaster the past few weeks. I've had some intense highs and some crippling lows. It's been a whirlwind for sure between my brother being in the hospital for 2 days and then leaving to go back to school in Seattle, discovering I have nerve damage in my neck from my car accident in June (AND that the insurance companies stupidly double-paid my hospital bills and left me with a $350 chiropractor bill), and closing in on 11 days until the launch of Renegades Write the Rules & dRU. I've had hardly any time to myself, but the good news is, I'm surrounded by some wonderful people and I'm learning a lot every day. I couldn't really ask for a better environment in my life at this time and I'm grateful for that.

I was reminded a couple days ago that the universe is on my side. When times get hard I tend to look to the universe for answers and I've been asking the same question for almost 10 months now. But I think I finally got my answer, and the answer is that I need to pause and learn to trust the process. Everything happens in its own time and good things happen to those who wait. Cryptic? Maybe. But it's good stuff.

Tomorrow is Friday and this weekend I plan on taking some much needed Chelsea time. My goal is to read "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" - the entire thing, catch up on my sleep, and mentally reset. Good things are on the horizon. I've said it before and I'll say it again.. nothing brings HOPE like Fall.

And with that I say, goodnight.

Life Lately (part 4)

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

1. I started an awesome new job at Digital Royalty!
[more on this to come]

2. Sometimes me and my mom meet Seal.

3. Took a not-so-relaxing vacation to Yosemite with the whole family.

Lots of hiking and nature is just what the doctor ordered.

4. Spending a lot of time in Downtown Las Vegas with my new team of Renegades

[and loving every second of it]

5. After 7 long years, I'm finally ditching the green colored contacts.

Got myself some new specs, and going all-natural for a while. 

New chapter, new Chelsea. 

In other news:

• My god-sister Lindsey went off to medical school and I miss her more than anything
• Breaking Bad is one of the best TV shows I've ever watched and I'm highly addicted right now (no pun intended)
• I'm newly independent, enjoying my 20's to the fullest, and refocusing my life to reflect who I really am and what I want for my future. Nothing but honesty with myself and what's best for me from here on out.

Cheers to another awesome week ahead.

Yosemite: Nothing worth doing ever comes easy.

Yosemite has always had a special place in my heart. My family has vacationed there since I was little because it was close when we lived in California and we're pretty much the camping kind of vacationers - no resting. But when we moved to Colorado it was a lot harder to get to Yosemite so we just kind of stopped going for a while, which sucked to say the least. So last August we decided it was time to get back on the horse and we booked a trip with the extended family for exactly one year from then, and I've been counting down the days ever since. Sadly it's already come and gone, but it was definitely one of those life changing trips you know you learned a lot from and won't be forgetting any time soon. It was exactly what I needed at this point in my life and it couldn't have come at a more perfect time.

If you stalk me at all (which, come on, I know you do) you'll notice that #27 on my bucket list says "Hike the Panorama Trail in Yosemite...as an adult." I must have done this hike as a kid at least 3 times. It was always "THE hike" everyone talked about whenever we went to Yosemite because it's really long and really hard. It's like 8.5 miles which doesn't seem like that long in the grand scheme of life (especially after JUST watching those hardcore Olympians running marathons and shit... makes you feel a little inadequate when you're talking about how hard 8.5 miles is, am I right?!) which is what I kept telling myself when mentally preparing for this trip. I knew we were going to do it, I knew I would be sore, but I knew it was something I had to do because a) I've done it before, so I can for sure do it again, right? b) it's on my bucket list so I HAVE to, right? c) It's only 8.5 miles and mostly all downhill so it can't be that hard, right?!?!

WRONG. ON ALL ACCOUNTS.

Let me just start from the beginning. We excitedly woke up at the ass crack of dawn and got on the bus that drops you off at the top of Glacier Point (pretty much the tip-top of Yosemite). We admired the beautiful view of Half Dome, took some pictures, and merrily started the downhill trek from Glacier Point into the valley singing show tunes, catching up with the fam, and laughing as a couple of us (including me) tripped and fell for the first time of the day. Still packed with energy this trail seemed like nothing. 8.5 miles? NOOOO PROBLEM.

At the top of Glacier Point overlooking Half Dome

So the first few miles are all downhill. A solid slope, not too hard, we're not out of breath or tired yet. We make it to the first resting point at Illilouette Falls. We happily cracked open some snacks, took off our shoes for a bit, basked in the sun, and kept thinking "psh, we got this." HOWEVER. The next portion of the hike is entirely uphill (it's supposedly only 1.5 miles uphill, but it feels like a solid 12). We started the trek uphill after a short break and almost immediately I feel myself having an asthma attack. My lungs are burning. It's very clear that I'm out of shape and on the verge of death. Everyone else seems to be fine, and in fact, are way ahead of me and my mom (and my dad who stayed behind to make sure the both of us didn't keel over and pass out). This uphill part seemed like forever. It was never ending. Every switchback I felt this immense hope that it would be the last one, and then would realize that I could see other people still hiking uphill wayyyyyy up ahead. It. Sucked.

I started giving myself a pep talk that went something like this: "You can do this. You have had a rough year and you are going to turn it around right now. You are going to get to the top of this sissy, bullshit hill and then you get to go downhill again for the rest of the day. You will do this. You are going to prove to yourself right now that you can still have the things you want. You can accomplish things. You can set your mind to something and get it done. You will show this hike who's boss!"

It was not helping. In fact, it was not helping so much that my thoughts started making a complete 180 and I started dramatically thinking "This hike is a perfect metaphor for my entire life right now! A never ending uphill climb and I'm struggling with every fiber of my being to make it to the top and it just doesn't end! Why can't something as simple as a stupid hike with my family ever just be easy?!" I hope you're finding the humor in this because I'm laughing as I write it. Even though I was NOT laughing while I was hiking (more like on the verge of a mental breakdown), looking back on it, it's pretty hilarious now.

I finally make it to the end of the uphill part and the trail starts going downhill again. The rest of my family is already so far ahead, they're probably already at the next stopping point and feasting on their lunch. So I take off marching down that hill as fast as I possibly can. I left my parents in the dust because I was so determined to leave that uphill battle in the past and get back to the rest of the hike. Mosquitoes were biting me left and right but I didn't care. And when I reached the rest of the group, sure enough everyone was parked at the top of Nevada Falls eating lunch and resting up for the last leg. It felt good to know that there was only a few miles left and the hardest part was over with. Whew.

....Or so I thought. 

After lunch (where one of my water bottles fell into the waterfall) we were faced with a choice: the last 4 miles on one trail, or a 2.5 mile "short cut" with a scenic route. Well, after that uphill part 2.5 miles sounds like a cake walk so we all agree, duh, OBVIOUSLY we're going with the short cut.

Let me just spell this out for you: Straight. Downhill. Rocks. Stairs made out of rocks. Are you picturing this? It's worse than you're imagining, I promise.

It's hot. I'm sweating out every drop of water I'm guzzling into my body. I haven't peed all day and at this point I've already drank 5+ bottles of water. I'm slipping on every step. My legs are starting to shake. It's getting steeper and steeper. It's been well over an hour and we've MAYBE gone a half a mile. This hike has gone from hard to completely brutal. Every step I take I'm pretty sure is going to be my last. I just know I'm going to slip on one of these rocks, land on my ass, throw out my back, and have to be helicoptered out of here. We come to another stopping point where I feel like I'm going to pass out. I'm literally delirious and have about 1/4 of a water bottle left. Everyone keeps saying "the hardest part is over! There's only a little left! Drink that water because at the bottom of this tiny hill we're about to go on there's a water station!" I'm thinking OH THANK GOD! FINALLY!

That is, until I realize I've been lied to. The next part was the hardest of the entire thing. Maybe it's because my legs were already about to give out and collapse underneath me, or maybe I was dehydrated, but I was using every muscle in my body to prevent myself from tumbling to my imminent death. And if it wasn't for my Uncle Paul literally holding my hand, I probably would have. I couldn't believe what I'd gotten myself into. I was staring straight down into a never ending staircase of rocks that I was somehow going to have to climb down.

I don't know how, but we finally make it to the watering hole and I just collapsed. We still had another mile to go before we reached Happy Isles where there's ice cream waiting for you after a long and miserable day. But we stayed there for a while waiting for my mom and dad and Uncle Prescott to catch up because they were struggle city on that last part too. I was covered in dirt and mosquito bites and sweat. I think we waited there for about an hour where I didn't speak or move, just sat and thought about the entire day.  I took a couple notes on my iPod so I wouldn't forget:

Things I've learned today:

1. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Learn some patience. Slow it up.

2. I'm horrendously out of shape, and therefore probably shouldn't commit to 8.5 mile hikes without thinking it through.

3. I idealize things in my head (both in life and in this hike) and have a tendency to jump into things I'm not ready for just to prove to myself that I can do it.

4. I am capable of doing whatever I set my mind to. 

5. Against all adversity of pain and struggle and uphill (and downhill) battles, I pushed myself beyond what I thought I was capable of and extended my limits.

6. My family is everything to me and without them supporting me the entire way I would not have made it to the end. They are literally the reason I finished the hike.
7. Nothing worth doing ever comes easy.

Final resting point at the bottom of Vernal Falls

When my mom, dad, and Prescott finally made it to the watering hole there was only one mile left to go. My legs had an hour of rest and my mind was clear of all the negativity and I got up and walked the last mile side by side with my Uncle Mark, talking about the ice cream at Happy Isles and the hour long showers and enormous amount of cocktails we were going to consume the second we got back to camp. And that last mile went by so fast. I made it to the end of the god-forsaken Panorama Trail. I did what I came to Yosemite to do and I felt so accomplished and proud of myself for NOT being carried out on a helicopter that all I could do was laugh at the ridiculous amount of emotions I experienced throughout one single day. What a crazy life I live. Ha.

Oh, and of course there was no ice cream at Happy Isles (something about an avalanche destroying the ice cream stand? Excuses.) and I didn't even have one cocktail because of extreme dehydration - but none of that mattered. I was just happy to be there with my family.

The next morning I fell as I got out of bed because my entire body hurt more than I've ever experienced in my life. My parents, brother, and I couldn't help but just start cracking up at how gimpy and ridiculous we all looked, hunched over, waddling around and groaning with each step. This is what memories are made of, people.

So the moral of the story is (are you still reading?) sometimes you have to dig so incredibly deep within yourself and summon some strength you don't even know you have, but anything is possible when you put your mind to it. A herniated disc, a hurt neck, shaky legs, and dehydration couldn't stop me from finishing this hike. Thanks to my incredible family and my sheer will to not die in a rock slide, I achieved my goal.

I'm in control of my own life. I can have the things I want. I am stronger than I think.